Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Please help me I don't know the way

I have Andrew Peterson's "Holy is the Lord" (Serve Hymn) in my head. It is resonating with me. Actually, it is echoing through my soul, except that the echoes aren't getting fainter, they're getting stronger. "Holy is the Lord, Holy is the Lord and the Lord I will obey. Please help me I don't know the way."

It's not so much that I haven't heard what I should do to live my life right. I have studied the Bible in depth and worn the pages out. I've listened to countless Christian messages and songs. But I look back on my life and my decisions and so often I see some essential part missing.  I know I need God's word, I need to trust in Jesus. In addition to all that, I need to walk with God daily.  I don't know how to do that. It's not something that can be taught to a person.

I think that prayer is lovely, "help me I don't know the way". It's saying to God that I need him to help me in my relationship with him. It's like a man saying to his wife, "I want to get to know you more - help me". If the woman will not allow the man to come more into her life,  to lead him to get to know her more with personal information and insights and open arms, then any words from others that might know the woman won't do what only the woman can do.  It can help, but it won't bring that intimacy that only the one in the relationship can offer.

But, even now, I feel like I've lost something by trying to explain it. The Lord is Holy - high above us. Our lives were created by him and for him. He is all good. Why is it that I don't know the way? Is it perhaps because I've made too many decisions based on selfishness and pride. I am sure that is a large part of it. Those decisions have been based on such shallowness.  Sigh.

Holy is the Lord. And the Lord I will obey. Please help me I don't know the way.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

My reasons for starting to blog

The mother of invention.

Ok, so I'm not inventing anything.  But, I was motivated to begin something new.  I was motivated to start a new blog because some of my comments on other blogs didn't appear.  I modified the DNS settings on my router (since I'm using a "blocking" dns server to protect my family, I wanted to make sure it wasn't blocking comments - but that's material for another blog in the future).  I modified security settings on my router.  Still nothing!  Well, at least I don't think anything happened.  I hope some poor chap's blog doesn't show up with 100 comments, pretty much saying the same thing, but altered slightly.

So, I've started a blog so I can test commenting on one without totally messing up someone else's.  I guess I also wanted a place to share my music besides for MySpace (which, I never uploaded my music, out of fear of I don't know what).  Facebook doesn't seem like a good place to share music.  It's a place to connect with friends, not a place to advertise.  Well, evidently, it IS a place to advertise, but a part-time musician probably shouldn't have a facebook page.  At least that's how I'm currently feeling.

But, then again, is a blog spot a place to share music?  Well, maybe not.  And since that wasn't conclusive, I didn't start a blog for that reason.  But testing.  Now that's a reason.  My wife wasn't able to comment on a great blog she just read.  How can I stand by and not be able to do something about that?  I mean, I tried everything I else I know - Google, router modifications, DNS modifications.  I did get one comment go post via my Android phone.  Could Comcast be blocked from commenting?  I don't know.  So, maybe testing wasn't an all conclusive reason for starting a blog.

I do want to be more creative.  I'm getting older, and my desire to make a difference - to encourage people like I am encouraged by other's creativity is a bit of a motivator.  I've created songs, mostly instrumental in scope, with a few different instruments, but writing, has caught my attention.  I almost don't want to write, because I know I don't have a gift for it like my wife, Melanie has.  But I will swallow my pride and write.

So, more than one reason to start a blog.  It seems rather like my life - jack of all trades and master of none.  But, I guess I don't have to have a masterful reason to start a blog.  Just a reason.  Or, a slew of them.  And perhaps that means that it's ok to have more than one pursuit and be a "jack of all trades".

Well, the hour is growing late.  I have work tomorrow morning and I want to spend time with my family before I head off to bed.  Perhaps I'll start testing my comments tomorrow.